It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to…you would cry too if it happened to you.
Did you find yourself singing those lyrics in your head as opposed to just reading them? Many of us have heard that song, It’s My Party played on rotation through the years on “Oldies” stations across the nation. It’s an anthem of “this is my day so I can feel however I want because of it.”
The thing is, each day is a perfectly legitimate reason for us to feel how we will – regardless if it’s our actual party. The same goes for everyone around us. Each day brings new challenges and experiences – some that encourage us to smile and feel hopeful, others that devastate and quite frankly cause us to cry.
And considering a majority of our time is spent working, and many of the stresses we experience are a result of that work – it stands to reason those emotions we feel will include feeling overwhelmed, disappointed, frustrated…to the point of tears.
What’s so wrong with that? Crying at work. Surely, we can cry if we want to…even in the workplace? You no doubt just had a vision or thought about how you’d feel crying in the workplace – either from personal experience or by the mere mention of it from this article. What was your experience? Or, what do you imagine that experience to be…crying at work? Unfortunately, many feel foolish, embarrassed, or ashamed for having those feelings, when, in reality, it is very natural to have them.
One of Harvard Business Review’s social media accounts posted a great clip that addressed this very point in regard to crying, “…if you’re in a leadership position, it’s important to make people feel comfortable with what’s a normal biological response to stress, frustration, or sadness. Send the message that no one will lose credibility or be seen as less competent if they cry, regardless of gender…Openly acknowledge that crying is a natural, healthy, reaction. The next time someone cries, you can say, ‘Clearly, many of us feel strongly about this topic. It makes me feel like crying too!’ You can even share an example of when you’ve cried at work. This will show your team that being vulnerable is OK, which increases feelings of trust and safety.”
This ties back to the importance of emotional intelligence within the workplace as managers and leaders. When we empathize with our team members and help them understand that their ideas and feelings matter, it will result is a healthier workplace – one that will hopefully decrease the desire to shed tears.
However, no matter how great the team, stresses will always be present – and you should be able to cry…if you want to. Learn more about becoming the kind of leader that others feel safe and comfortable sharing their true feelings around. Visit Chuckgarcia.com for more information.
Chuck Garcia